Only three more weeks until my fetus is due to greet us! Erica here, and I’ve been making plans all week–all the bingeing I should get out of my system now before I make the irreversible transition from mommy-to-be to just mommy. Here they are, in no particular order, the top five binges of my single gal swan song:
- Sleep in all its glorious forms. Sleeping in, taking naps, and passing out before 9pm are all completely sanctioned and guilt-free during pregnancy, and I plan to take full advantage while I still can, especially considering all the ominous statements I’ve been hearing from more seasoned mothers: “Enjoy your sleep now,” “You better rest while you still can,” or, my favorite, “You’ll never sleep again once the baby is here.”
- Sex. After I sacrifice my body during labor only to become become a full-time slave and milk factory to the baby for the next however many months, I’m pretty sure sex will be the absolute last thing on my mind. My apologies to my partner in advance. I wonder if I can stock up on lovemaking now, like a sexual bank account…
- Dining at restaurants. Oh, how I’m going to miss this! I know it’s not uncommon to bring a baby along to a restaurant, but when I see other mothers doing it, it sure doesn’t look very fun–and neither does taking a baby along in the drive-thru. Therefore, I already have plans with friends for multiple meals at my favorite restaurants before my due date. Woot woot!
- F-bombs. I’ll definitely have to tone down the swears after her little impressionable ears become a constant presence in my life, so it’s bombs away for now! F*** that lady in the minivan who cut me off on my way to work yesterday. F*** all the people who don’t move out of my way when I, the obviously pregnant, waddling woman, am walking toward them. And F*** daylight savings time for robbing me of another hour at the end of the month.
- Making the most of my remaining pregnancy. I’ll miss the kicking, hiccuping, and squirming, and I’m going to miss having her so close to me where she’s safe and sound. I can’t wait to meet her, but I’ve had a truly wonderful pregnancy.
That’s all for now! Tune in next Thursday!